Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
