That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
