Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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