I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
