I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
