Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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