btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
