"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
