i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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