it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
