it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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