i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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