dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
