Just cropdusted the office
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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