I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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