I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
