After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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