I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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