and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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