I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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