It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
