My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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