Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
