WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
