I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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