I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
