hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
