Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
