her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
