I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize