That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
