it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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