Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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