the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
