Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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