My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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