oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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