I just pynch a tree in the face
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
