she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
