I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
