How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
