i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
