Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
