Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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