I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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