Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
