Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
