found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
