Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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