Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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