speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
