Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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