idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The air taste purple.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
