I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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