Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
