I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
