is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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