I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
