You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
