All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
