I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
