I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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