So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
