WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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